My 2-year-old wild child has started pretending to be a cat randomly throughout the day.
She’ll pounce around on all fours with her little “meows” and climb onto our laps for pets (which we happily oblige).
This has especially peeked the interest of our 7-year-old, who typically loves to admire his little sister from a distance (where he can keep an eye on her unpredictable, occasionally feral behavior).
When she goes in cat-mode, however, it’s a different story. He transforms into this cat-loving, feline-protecting animal enthusiast, putting his nurturing instincts on full display in a way we’ve never seen before.
Aldrich’s son holds his little sister as she pretends to be a baby kitten.
“Hiiiiii, kitty.” “You’re a nice, kitty.” “Does kitty want food?”
He’ll follow her around, pick her up and eventually hold her on his lap like a baby, staring at her with this gigantic smile while she purrs and meows acceptingly. It might be the most adorable thing I’ve seen or will ever see for the rest of my life. The moment gave me a lift I didn’t even know I needed. Now, whenever parenting gets hard, l close my eyes and picture it. I mentioned this to my dad, a licensed therapist, and he said, “Well, that’s a glimmer!”
Never heard of them? I was right there with you. Glimmers are those tiny, seemingly insignificant moments that arise from appreciating everyday experiences, such as enjoying a sunset or a child’s laughter. By recognizing and savoring glimmers, you can cultivate a more positive outlook and reduce stress.
Think the polar opposite of triggers. Unlike triggers, which evoke negative emotions and activate the body’s stress response, glimmers stimulate feelings of calm and safety. This mindfulness practice encourages individuals to focus on the present and appreciate the beauty around them, leading to improved mental health and emotional resilience.
The term was coined by Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in complex trauma. In her 2018 book, The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, Dana notes that glimmers aren’t grand experiences. On the contrary, she says, “They’re micro moments that begin to shape our system in very gentle ways.”
If we pay attention, we’ll see that glimmers are everywhere. Has a beautiful sunset ever taken your breath away? Are there moments when you stop what you’re doing to delight in your child’s smile, the taste of your favorite fruit or something else? If you paused to notice the pleasure you were experiencing and to savor the moment, then your mental health and nervous system automatically benefited.
The tricky part is being present enough to notice life’s little glimmers when they arise. Be on the lookout! Show your kids that the amount of good things in our lives depends on our ability to notice them. So, savor those sunsets. Soak up those smiles. And, most importantly, if your 2-year-old turns into a kitty cat while you’re at Cracker Barrel, just let them “meow” it out and enjoy your biscuit.
