Don't Tie Allowances to Chores, They Say

Time flies and suddenly your kids are making gigantic messes around your home. They are big enough to help clean it up. They are strong enough to scrub a sink if need be … but do they? Some parenting experts says we do kids a disservice by not including them in our regular household chores. Because afterall, they are going to grow up to do household chores or have a real mess on their hands.

Don’t Tie Allowances to Chores, They Say

Experts say tying allowances to everyday chores can backfire because it turns basic family responsibilities into a “pay-to-play” situation. The thinking (from people like Beth Kobliner, author of Make Your Kid a Money Genius and Neale Godfrey, author of Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees), is that kids should help out at home simply because they’re part of your team. See, when chores = money, kids can start negotiating every little task or opt out once they feel they’ve “earned enough.” A better move? Keep allowances separate as a way to practice money skills, and save extra pay for above-and-beyond jobs — so you’re raising helpful humans and money-smart ones without the daily bargaining.

The Allowance Question

So what to do about allowances … or paying your kids? You have to set the rules for each of your kids, depending on their ages, experts say … and then try to keep it fair. It can get difficult to give kids allowances because time flies quickly and you may start feeling like you’re always opening your wallet. Stay the course once you set a plan in place and realize you’re teaching as you move forward. And try to make your rules fair and consistent.

As child psychologist Dr. Mary Kelly Blakeslee warns, “Nothing bothers kids more than unfairness. If you change the rules without a good reason, you’re reneging on a contract. While children need to learn that life isn’t always fair, you can still respect your children’s feelings by explaining why you have to decrease their allowance or postpone payment and let them know you can understand their annoyance or disappointment.”

Who Needs an Allowance?

An allowance can be an important tool to teach kids about money — when it’s paired with clear expectations and ongoing conversations, says Kobliner. So obviously, when you decide to give your child spending money, the child has to be old enough to understand. The goal isn’t the money itself, Godfrey says, it’s giving kids practice making choices, mistakes, and learning from both.

Experts generally agree allowance works best when kids are:

Old enough to understand trade-offs (usually ages 6–8+)
Starting to ask for money/spend independently
Ready to handle small decisions (and mess up a little)

Allowances Made Simple

Keep it 3-way: Spend, Save, Give

Talk about money — a lot
It’s about normalizing money convos early

Stay consistent (but flexible)
No random rule changes — your kids will call you out

Don’t weaponize allowances
Not a punishment, not a reward … keep it neutral

How Much to Give

$1–$2 per year of age per week (or monthly equivalent)

So:

7-year-old = $7 a week (but entirely up to you if it’s $7 a month)
10-year-old = $10 a week (or $10 a month if that’s better for your budget)

Adjust based on:

What you expect them to pay for (toys? snacks? outings?)
Individual needs (gas money??)
Your budget (no guilt here — this is flexible)

Ultimately, allowances aren’t as much about just giving kids money — it’s about giving them low-stake opportunities with money while you’re still around to guide them. If they’re old enough to “get it,” even a small, consistent amount can go a long way.

Don’t Tie Allowances to Chores, They Say

"Wait, we're paying kids to clean their rooms now? Cool — who do I send my invoice to for laundry, dishes and literally everything else?" A get-real guide to kid allowances.