This past summer, I took a big risk and decided to get rid of my iPhone. This was the result of realizing that my 2-year-old daughter, Lily, was displaying behavior that meant she felt my iPhone was more important to me than she was. She would often either take my phone from me, trying to figure out what I was interested in or even start shouting, “No phone!” It was daily and it wasn’t good.
At the time, I used my iPhone for quite literally everything, but it reached a point where I couldn’t be without it. Even when it was just me in the room with Lily, we would play and after a little while, she would inevitably find me buried in my screen.
This affected my wife and kids in a very negative way and as a result, we struggled daily trying to communicate and connect with each other. We could be in the same room together, but if my phone was around, it wasn’t long before I picked it up and got carried away by social media, news, sports, games — the endless instant gratification it offered.
The Flip phone. Only for taking calls and sending texts. No apps!
Should I Limit My iPhone Time?
I thought about limiting my time on the iPhone, but I was never able to implement long-term solutions to my addiction. So I just went for it and bought the only flip phone I could find. It’s just texting-ish, calls, a calculator and an alarm clock. Pretty simple and not nearly as visually appealing.
I really didn’t know just what this would do or mean for my family and me, but I was tired of missing moments with my kids. Plus, Lily’s first two years blew by and I didn’t want to miss any more. I figured this was the most effective way for me to change course. And the months that have followed have been … good.
It hasn’t been easy, but I’m more present, my kids get more of me, I’m less distracted and I’m far more engaged with the details in life and the everyday beauty in our world. I’ve also been more creative and in touch with myself than I previously was. These are the good things.
Not having a GPS is hard (but kind of adventurous), picture quality and quantity have gone way down and I’ve been told I’m much harder to get in touch with. I’ve started to feel a way deeper range of emotions, both positive and negative. Before, there was a certain numbness that I didn’t realize was available every time I opened the phone.
In Their Little Worlds
Now my kids get all of me. I’m there with them in the mornings, evenings and in the mundane moments. I’m aware of how they feel, what they want and I’m present with them in their little worlds. Because of my own inability to put my iPhone away, that just wasn’t happening before.
Lily hasn’t seen my iPhone in what feels like a long, long time. It feels like we’re sort of … free.
Despite being a little over 2-years-old, Lily knew how the iPhone worked. She loved the touchscreen and it fascinated her. I get it — they are amazing devices. The vibrant videos and photos look better on those screens than the world does. So much power is in the palm of our hands! But now I’ve taken a step back and find myself talking about the things around me with Lily. We use our imaginations and just “be.” It’s just us and the world with its hidden mysteries all around us.
She immediately was receptive to the change. She’s happier and I am, too. I wouldn’t trade my time or mundane moments with her for anything — life is just too short, so I thought I’d share. And no, I’m not going back!
