Our oldest is now 3! Crazy! This marks three years since my wife and I became parents and watching our daughter go from being a little helpless baby to a full-throttle little kid has been something out of a dream — it’s almost unfathomable to comprehend.
A beautiful thing about your own kid’s birthday is not only do you get to celebrate them, but you get the chance to reflect on the previous years and the milestones passed along the way. As I look back to 2023, when my wife and I first welcomed our little girl into the world, I remember not having any answers to the many parenting decisions we were facing. I hardly even knew how to change a diaper.
I was brand new to the whole dad thing and very unsure of myself when it came to parenting decisions outside of calling 911 for emergencies. I was present, but my confidence as a parent didn’t come until much later as my instinct was to rely on my awesome wife’s knowledge and wisdom for just about anything parenting. This makes perfect sense, afterall, as she’s a great mom and it’s been such a joy to welcome two kids into her loving arms.
Relying on her was so easy for me — like some sort of default setting. Things like sleep schedules, feeding schedules, toilet training methods, medical decisions — it was so easy to just let her take the reins on those things.
Passivity is Not Good
This year, however, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that passivity is not good for me. It’s taken me longer than it should have to get to this place and I don’t think I’d be saying this without her love, but I think being an equal partner requires more effort than what I originally thought.
The many, many parenting questions: “When do we feed the baby?” “When do we call a doctor?” “When do we put the baby down to sleep?” “How do we foster healthy sibling relationships?” “How do we discipline them?” From the moment the baby is born, these all come in waves and they don’t stop coming. For me, it was intimidating. Now I know it’s just the reality of parenting.
I think loving my family (and even myself) looks like taking charge of these questions head on and meeting my wife halfway. A dad being in-the-know on all the questions, decisions, methods and ideas on parenting is a place of strength for our little family. I don’t remember when exactly, but there was a point for me as a dad when I realized that if I don’t step up, my wife will in my stead.
But if I meet her in the middle, we both help each other to be the best parents we can be for our kids — and our kids need this.
In 2026, I’ve got more help available to me as a dad than possibly any dad from any generation prior. I’ve got priceless wisdom from older dads ready to give it, an entire database of research and studies available online to offer methods for tackling any issue or question and dad friends who are facing the same things. What a blessing!
Yet, while having so many resources at my disposal, the reality is that if I approach parenting with passivity, my family isn’t set up nearly as well for success.
So, as my daughter enters her fourth year, being the best dad I can be for her looks like meeting my wife in the middle. Being knowledgeable and taking action so that my wife doesn’t have to carry the load of every little thing by herself can allow her to keep being the incredible mom she is everyday.
