Ask almost anyone with a brother or sister and you’ll likely find a debate: who’s the favorite child? A new study out of Brigham Young University (BYU) published Jan. 16, sheds a little light on that playful rivalry, showing how parents may show favoritism based on birth order, personality and gender.
The study, out of BYU School of Family Life, found that younger siblings generally receive more favorable treatment from their mom and dad. In addition, older siblings are often given more autonomy, and parents are less controlling towards them as they get older.
Do You Have a Favorite Child? Research Says You May.
To conduct the study, BYU researchers looked at data from more than 19,000 individuals. The research examined a broad view of how parental preferences manifest and how they can influence children throughout their lives.
“Sometimes parents get so concerned about treating their kids the same that they may overlook individual needs,” says Professor Alex Jenson.
The study discovered parents tend to favor daughters slightly more than sons, although only parents tend to recognize the bias — children did not.
“It is helpful to take the findings from this study and be aware of the patterns that could be happening in your family,” Jensen says. “When parents are aware, they can make small adjustments that benefit everyone.”
Naturally, children who are agreeable and responsible receive more favorable treatment. Be aware of how your kids react to things that could be perceived as favoritism.
The research shows that children who feel less favored by their parents are more likely to experience poor mental health and behavior issues.
“Keep an eye out for things that seem unfair,” Jensen says. “Either [they] are missing perspective and understanding or you need to make some changes in your parenting,” he adds.
Favoritism — whether intentional or unintentional — can shape sibling relationships and individual well-being. By recognizing this, parents can foster stronger family bonds in meaningful ways.
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