Warm and fuzzy or cool and disapproving? It’s kind of obvious what kind of mom a kid may prefer, but a new study lays out the reason why. Mom warmth and affection given unconditionally to children goes a long, long way toward your kid’s future success. Here’s why:
Mom Warmth and Affection: Parenting’s Secret Sauce
Researchers looked at data from more than 2,000 sets of identical twins in the UK (that’s a lot of twins!) to get a clear picture of what really makes a difference in kids’ lives. They zoomed in on the ages between 5 and 10 to see how much a mom’s warmth and affection during that time could shape things down the road. When the kids hit 18, the results were in: not exactly shocking, but definitely heartening. A little extra love early on really does go a long way.
As part of the study, researchers had moms chat about each of their twins during home visits. Trained listeners tuned in and rated those recordings for signs of warmth and affection. Turns out, the warmer and more affectionate the moms were, the more likely their kids were to grow into teens who scored high on traits like openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness. The three traits they found are all linked to long-term success and well-being. Even though the effects were on the smaller side, they held up strong. Even after the researchers factored in things like mental health, family support and other parenting variables. Basically, the science says what we already suspected: showing warmth as a parent can help shape our kids into thriving, well-rounded adults.
Lead researcher Jasmin Wertz summed it up nicely in an interview: Happier parents tend to raise more successful kids, who grow into more successful adults — which creates a stronger, happier society overall.
So yes, this might fall in the “duh” category, but it’s always nice when science high-fives your instincts. And it’s even better when that data can help push for things like better mental health support, parenting programs, and policies that make life a little easier for families.
How to Bring More Mom Warmth Into Your Child’s Day
From the moment you bring your little bundle home from the hospital, the snuggles begin — and for good reason. That sweet skin-to-skin contact isn’t just adorable, it’s actually super important for bonding and development. But the affection doesn’t stop when the diaper phase ends! As your kids grow, you can keep the love flowing in playful ways. Crank up the music and dance around the kitchen, invent goofy games like being the Hug Monster or the Kiss Attack Ninja — basically, make physical affection fun and silly.
Want to make sure those hugs don’t get lost in the chaos of daily life? Try building them into your routine. A quick cuddle before school, a bear hug when they get home, and a cozy squeeze at bedtime can make a big difference.
Pro tip: even during discipline, affection still matters. If your child’s had a rough moment, a hug reminds them that your love doesn’t disappear when they mess up. Boundaries and affection can absolutely go hand in hand.
Of course, not every kid wants a cuddle 24/7, and what they’re comfy with will shift as they grow. Your preschooler might want to hold your hand everywhere, while your middle schooler may act like a handshake is pushing it. That’s totally normal.
Bottom line: be warm, be playful, and follow their lead. The affection you show now will echo in ways you can’t even imagine yet.
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