Raising resilient, mentally strong kids has always mattered — but in your fast-paced family life amid all of life’s challenges, it’s more important than ever. Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, a licensed clinical psychologist and the author of Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children (Dey Street Books; 2018) has some pointers to help you. Ziegler says when parents are intentional about how they guide and support their children, it lays a strong foundation for lifelong self-sufficiency, empathy, and emotional well-being.
Dr. Edwin Williamson, psychiatrist and professor at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, backs this up: “Self-sufficient traits lead to healthier relationships and more loving families who get along better. That’s the real win.”
Seven impactful strategies to help you to raise mentally strong kids:
1. Make Emotions Part of Everyday Life
From the very beginning, parents who encourage their kids to name and talk about their feelings help them build emotional awareness. Whether it’s joy, frustration, or sadness, all emotions are welcome — and that’s a powerful message for a child to hear. Simple moments like chatting in the car or sharing “highs and lows” at the dinner make emotional expression feel natural. This creates a sense of safety and connection — and teaches kids that emotions come and go, and can be handled with care.
2. Guide, Don’t Rescue
When kids face challenges, it’s tempting to jump in and fix things. But the most resilient kids are raised by parents who guide rather than rescue. Asking questions like, “What do you think might help?” or “Have you faced something like this before?” encourages problem-solving. Over time, this builds confidence and teaches kids that they can overcome tough moments — on their own.
3. Emphasize Effort Over Outcome
When parents focus on effort — not just results — kids learn that growth comes from persistence, not perfection. Phrases like “I saw how hard you worked on that” send a message that progress matters more than the grade. This mindset encourages kids to embrace challenges as opportunities, not threats.
4. Create Calm Through Consistency
Kids thrive on structure. Predictable routines and clear boundaries help them feel secure — and less anxious. Knowing what to expect (like having dinner before screen time or sticking to a bedtime routine) gives kids a stable rhythm they can rely on. And when life does throw a curveball, they’re better equipped to roll with it.
5. Build Confidence Through Responsibility
Giving children age-appropriate responsibilities — like packing their lunch or tidying up their room — helps them feel capable and valued. Regular chores not only teach important life skills, they also foster independence, time management, and a stronger sense of belonging within the family.
6. Turn Failures Into Life Lessons
The most mentally healthy kids know that failure isn’t something to fear — it’s something to learn from. Sharing your own setbacks (and what you learned from them) normalizes the ups and downs of life. Try saying something like, “I know that was disappointing, but I’m so proud of how hard you worked. What might you do differently next time?” When kids see failure as feedback, they become more courageous — and more resilient.
7. Model Mental Wellness
Your well-being has a powerful impact on your child’s. When parents prioritize their own mental health, they model balance, boundaries, and healthy coping strategies. Whether it’s taking a walk, journaling, or simply talking about emotions openly, you show your child that caring for your mind is just as important as caring for your body. And that makes it easier for them to do the same.
Parenting isn’t about perfection — it’s about progress. These simple, research-backed habits can help you raise kids who are not only mentally strong but also kind, capable, and deeply connected to themselves and the world around them.
You’ve got this. And your kids do, too.
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