Welp, we did it … five whole years … and now, your big day is here — your first day of kindergarten.
We’ve been prepping you for a while now. We’ve talked about all the cool things you’ll get to do and the new friends you’ll make. We’ve talked about how to wear your backpack, how to unpack your lunch and how to be kind to your classmates.
We’ve talked about how you’re going to love it there, and how you probably aren’t going to miss us at all … and that’s OK.
But, here’s what Daddy hasn’t talked to you about.
I’m not ready. This papa is not ready to let you go. Because that’s what it feels like … like I’m letting you go.
Anybody else relate?
After all, you were our little NICU baby. You needed us so much those first few years. It was just you, me and Mommy for so long. For three and a half years, you were it.
Soon, you’ll leave us and your 1-year-old baby sister at home for seven hours a day, five days a week. Our days together will consist of afternoon and evenings — and that scares me.
There is something about kindergarten that feels like a giant leap forward. You’re going to change even more this year and I’m excited for you, but also scared of what this might mean for me.
I’m scared you’ll need me less.
I’m scared you’re growing up and I’m growing old too fast.
I’m scared I didn’t hug you enough and rushed bedtimes too many nights.
I’m scared I worked too much and you caught me looking at my phone too often.
I see all my mistakes now and I want to fix them all, but there isn’t time.
When I say goodbye to you and watch as you walk down the hallway, I’ll think of you for the next seven hours. I’ll wonder: Is he eating? Is he making friends? Will he cry? Is he being polite? Will the teacher know how smart he is? Will they know how to handle his tantrums?
Deep breath, papa. It’s all going to be OK.
As hard as it is, letting go is part of a parent’s growth.
Besides, if you’re going to fantasize, just think about everything that can go right. Imagine him getting off the bus and running into your arms. Imagine him telling you that he had an amazing day learning new things and making new friends.
So, my sweet 5-year-old boy, we wish you the most incredible first day of kindergarten. You’re ready, little dude — even if Daddy may not be.
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