We’re ALL sucked into our daily smartphone use pretty much all day long. And we tell ourselves we would like to be connecting more with others in person. But it’s not easy.
So, take stock a second. Isn’t it strange how smartphones make us think we’re connected? They invite us into this alternative reality that is, well, unreal. We learn about everything going on instantly and we like that alternative existence. It’s safe. It’s known. It’s all by yourself.
But Hold on a Minute
According to a 2024 Pew Research report, some 44 percent of American teens said they feel anxious without their phones. Yet 72 percent of the same teens reported feeling peaceful either sometimes or often when they didn’t have their phones with them.
What’s happening?
On any given day, a teen’s smartphone habits look like this: checking several messaging apps, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, email accounts. For adults, add in all of the news sites and X. To the extent that our attention is no longer our own.
And this is where we’re at today.
Many of us parents know instinctively that it’s not a great path to be held captive on. We are searching for how to balance our phone use with living in real time with our kids. And we want to help our kids. It’s not easy for any of us because we enjoy plopping down with our phones. But we intrinsically know that life could be richer. We could have have better in-person relationships, look into eyes a little bit more, develop real, intimate relationships.
Because all of the constant phone checking harms our kids’ mental health (the isolation) and high screen time is linked with anxiety and lower physical activity. Not to mention that odd time suck that happens when a person of any ages tells themselves they’ll scroll Instagram for “just a few minutes” only to suddenly blow past two hours.
Let’s get it together
Easy Tips for Unplugging a Little, Connecting More
Set Intentional Phone-Free Times
Choose specific parts of the day with your kids (meals, first hour after waking, bedtime) when phones stay away. This helps your brain resist checking habits and builds healthier routines.
Turn Off Non-Essential Notifications
Alerts trigger dopamine hits (that urge to check again). Cutting non-critical notifications reduces interruptions and stress.
Go Grayscale
Your phone’s bright, colorful apps are designed to hijack your attention. Switch your phone to grayscale (black and white mode) and it will become less appealing.
Replace Phone Habits with Real-World Activities
Go for a walk, play a sport, read a book, bake — these activities fill time that would otherwise default to scrolling.
Start Small & Be Realistic
Don’t go cold turkey overnight — gradual goals (like 10 – 20 min less per day) are more sustainable.
Make It a Family Conversation — Not a Fight
Tell kids why you’re adjusting boundaries. Open dialogue builds buy-in and teaches self-regulation.
Lead By Example (do it as a group)
Kids mirror parent behavior. If you put your phone away, your kids may follow.
Encourage Offline Hobbies & Community Time
Skilled hobbies and in-person social activities give belonging that a screen can never fully replace.
Try the Opal App
This highly rated app helps you schedule screen-free time, block distractions, and track your phone habits so you can be more intentional with your time.
Daily Checklist For Connecting More
✔ Phone stays out of bedrooms at night
✔ Notifications limited to essentials only
✔ At least 1 hour of structured offline activity
✔ Daily tech check-in conversation
✔ Screen time goals written and reviewed weekly
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