Seriously, I used to roll my eyes when my parents commented about me being on my phone around my kids. “I’m multitasking,” I’d say, “it’s just what we have to do now.”
But y’all, yesterday at storytime with my kid I noticed every parent there on their phone afterward while the kids were playing in the library’s centers. Our kids are absolutely noticing how much we’re on our phones.
I average about 5+ hours of screen time daily while juggling parenting. But a few months ago I decided to make a change. I guess that’s why I noticed all of the parents checked out with their kids. Call it mindfulness or whatever, but I started with small steps to limit my phone use around my kids. Over time it has completely transformed my relationship with my children:
I discovered genuine connections happening again. My kids started sharing more because they saw I was paying attention. I’ve been missing plenty of fleeting moments of their childhood for something as trivial as scrolling through social media. These are the memories we’ll both cherish forever, not whatever notification was buzzing on my phone. There’s so much more.
Here are my best tips. Start small then build up over time.
- Create phone-free zones in your home. The dinner table and bedrooms should absolutely be phone-free. When your child is telling you about their day, your phone should be out of sight completely.
- Set “parent present” hours daily. I’ve blocked out 7 – 8:30 a.m. and 5 – 8 p.m. as completely phone-free times when I’m with my kids. No exceptions unless it’s a true emergency.
- Model the behavior you want to see. Kids don’t listen to what we say, they watch what we do. If you want them to develop healthy tech habits, you need to demonstrate them first.
- Get a good blocker app. There’s a lot out there, but I use one that locks me out of social media and makes me chat with AI before allowing access during family hours. The goal is to make mindless scrolling difficult when you should be connecting with your kids.
Breaking my phone dependency was hard! But seeing the change in my children has been more than worth it. If you’ve been meaning to be more present with your kids, give these steps a try — you might be amazed at how quickly your relationship transforms.
